My MS Journey: Chapter 6-Postpartum, Proposals, and a Growing Family
Some seasons pile so much life into a short period of time that you barely have a moment to catch your breath. This was one of those seasons.
6/26/20263 min read
A Little Human Who Changed Everything
Life was still going pretty well. I had this little human depending on me now and being a first time mom was one of the best feelings I had ever experienced. There is something about holding your child and knowing that you are responsible for this person, their safety, their happiness, their whole world that shifts something inside of you permanently.
But I want to be honest about something, because I think it's important. I suffered from postpartum depression after my son was born. At first I didn't understand what was happening to me. I was short tempered in ways that didn't feel like me. I cried a lot. I felt off but I couldn't put my finger on exactly why. Here I was with this beautiful baby and a man who loved me, and yet something felt wrong underneath the surface.
It took about two months before I finally spoke to my gynecologist about what I was experiencing. And when I did, she explained to me that postpartum depression is something that happens to a lot of women after giving birth. Hearing that didn't make the feelings disappear, but it gave me something incredibly valuable — understanding. I finally knew what I was dealing with. And that made all the difference.
The postpartum depression lasted about six months in total. It wasn't easy. But getting that diagnosis and having a doctor explain what my body and mind were going through helped me navigate it so much better than I would have on my own.
To every mom reading this please speak up if something doesn't feel right after you give birth. There is no shame in it. Your mind and body just did something extraordinary, and sometimes they need extra support to recover. Talking to your doctor was one of the best things I did for myself during that season. Don't suffer in silence.
Christmas Day-A Moment I Will Never Forget
That same year on Christmas Day something happened that I will carry in my heart forever. My son's father proposed to me. Twice actually.
The first time was at my parents' house. Before he got down on one knee in front of me he had already asked my dad for my hand in marriage. That detail alone tells you everything you need to know about the kind of man he is. Respectful, Intentional, and someone who does things the right way.
When he proposed I was so happy. Not just in the surface level excited way, but deeply, genuinely happy. This was someone I truly wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Someone who had shown up for me in ways I never expected. Someone who loved me completely — MS and all.
But he wasn't done.
Later that day we went to his mother's house where his sisters, nieces, and nephews had gathered for Christmas dinner. He told everyone he was going to sing to me. We all waited. And instead of singing, he proposed again. The room erupted. That is definitely one of the best days of my entire life. A double proposal on Christmas Day surrounded by the people we loved most. You truly cannot write something that beautiful.
A House for a Growing Family
With a baby, an engagement, and a life we were building together, my now fiancé and I decided it was time to find something bigger than our two bedroom apartment. We started the process of looking for a house. If you have ever house hunted before, you know it is not always a quick process.
It took about five or six months. But we found it. A home that was perfect for a growing family. Enough space to breathe, to grow, to build memories in. And we were going to need every bit of that space. Because at just six weeks along I found out I was pregnant again.
I was praying for a girl this time. After my sweet birthday boy, I was ready to add a little girl to our family. But before I could even begin to think about pink or blue, there was something I had to face that I want to talk about openly.
Going Off My MS Medication
Every time I get pregnant I have to stop taking my MS medication.
I want you to understand what that means. It means going months the entire duration of the pregnancy without anything helping to manage my symptoms or protect my nervous system. That is not a small thing. It is a real and serious risk that women with MS face when they choose to have children.
It is scary. There is no other word for it. You are essentially leaving yourself vulnerable during one of the most physically demanding seasons of your life, trusting that your body will hold up and that your MS will stay quiet long enough for you to bring your baby safely into the world. It is a leap of faith every single time. But I took that leap. Because my family was worth it.
In Chapter 7, I'll share how that second pregnancy went and whether or not I got my girl.
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